Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Thou Shalt Love Thy Neighbor

Do you ever watch the news where they have those bad neighbor reports? The ones where a news team gets involved because two neighbors are at war with each other over something like lawn ornaments or abandoned cars up on blocks. I live in a deed restricted community; a community that is supposed to have some sort of laws that protect homeowners from crap and trash accumulating in their neighbor’s yards. However, it seems that these restrictions aren’t restrictions as much as they are merely suggestions.

A few years ago we got a warning ticket for parking an RV in our driveway before going camping so I could clean it; What a bunch of old fu*#@^$ with nothing better to do than drive around and find small infractions to warn people about. A few months ago a manufactured home got moved into the area, which is a major infraction against the deed restrictions. What is going to happen…ABSOLUTLY FRIGGIN NOTHING! Figures right?

In the midst of a crappy housing market, dropping property values, and jacked up deed restriction enforcements we have yet another set of whisky tango neighbors that moved in next door. I don’t know much about them except what I’ve observed from the times I’ve spent spying on them out my patio window, my brief conversation with the mom in which I wasn’t sure which one of her two eyes was looking at me, and to tell the dad that one of his (many) animals was loose in my yard which he replied politely, “I know”. Then smiled.

In my musings on how we are going to handle this situation I am opting for an animal relocation program. Yes, this may be a little rash. I can admit that. On the other hand have you ever tried to explain to your two year old why they can’t have a king sized Snicker bar at ten o’clock at night when they are in the middle of a siren screaming, carpet pulling, body-flailing tantrum? If you have, you know where I’m coming from when I say there is just no reasoning with that kind of mental being.

I don’t know what we will do, short of bulking up the privacy fence fund or getting the hell out of dodge but I know staying off their radar is the way I’d prefer to go.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Family Battle

Some semblance of hell visited my house this past week. It showed up in the form of the pukies, high temperatures, missed school, and mommy overload. After three whole days of,
“Mommy can I have more Sprite?”
“Mommy my wash rag is hot.”
“Mommy I threw up.”

I had a migraine headache so big it was wildly waving its middle finger at the slew of narcotics I was trying - unsuccessfully to do battle with. In the spirit of not leaving any man behind I do have to give props to Geronimo for holding down the fort every single night; he did so with the “family sense of duty” I so admire in him. But anyway, I digress.

This migraine had taken the base of my neck hostage and diverted soldiers into both of my eyeballs. After one heating pad, cold washrag, a trip to visit the porcelain throne where I sacrificed my dinner to the brutal beast, and twenty straight hours of uninterrupted sleep (as uninterrupted as it can get with two small children screaming at the top of their lungs every few minutes or so) I awoke to shower and explain three days worth of homework to a less than interested Sensei.

Three hours after starting that whole adventure…..I ditched the last three assignments on Geronimo and began my own preparation for a speech I have to deliver first thing in the morning! No worries, I completed the outline and now I’m giving it a rest before I have to memorize the whole damn thing, less I look like a complete fool.

Inhale - exhale.

Crap, I can feel those little bastards reassembling the troops.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008


Today I received an email from one of my girlie friends about growing up in the
80’s. I couldn’t resist commenting on a few of my favorites.

You Know You Grew Up In the 80's if:

1. You can sing the rap to the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and can do the Carlton.
“Here is a story all about how my life got turned flipped upside down.” Yeah baby!

2. You got super-excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
I didn’t have a flipping clue what a broken axel meant but I sure as heck knew it would be catastrophic to my covered wagon.

3. You know the profound meaning of " WAX ON , WAX OFF"

4. You wanted to be a Goonie.
I soooo wanted to be that hot Andie chick.

5. You remember boom boxes and walking around with one on your shoulder.
Anyone else remember getting caught with the bootleg cassette tape of NWA?

6. You thought Doogie Howser/Samantha Micelli was hot.
Boy how things change. Doogie is still hot but unfortunately is hitting for the other team and Sam looks like a run through crack whore. We are talking lose, lose situation here.

7. You know all the words to Bon Jovi - SHOT THROUGH THE HEART.
….and it still gets your motor running. (Watch the New Year’s Eve episode of How I Met Your Mother staring Neil Patrick Harris a.k.a. Doogie.)

8. You tight rolled your jeans.
SERIOUSLY! What the #$@* was that all about? I did it, but I’m not even really sure why?

Friday, February 8, 2008


What we know, thus what we understand about the circumstances that occur in our own lives, is based on our perspective. Perspective is relative; it is a point of view that can morph and change over time. For some seasons our perspectives stay the same based on what we know to be fact. Other times, knowledge is gained and we change the state of our own ideas.

For example, in childhood, we want to know “why” all the time. We unknowingly are shaping our perspective by our inquiring of others. In asking “why” as a young child, we can only hope that those who are helping to shape us, our perspective, can be trusted. Still, some say it is our lack of perspective that protects us when we are children. Only later in life are we able to look back on our past and see the big picture; it is then that we decide what perspective we will take.

In my own life, there have been many times when I have been able to examine an event and choose my outward response despite my initial inward reaction all because of the perspective I have gained through life. I believe our vines begin to bloom when we gain knowledge in this capacity. I’m not convinced it wouldn’t be rash to try and approach all of life’s events this way though. We still have to honor whatever process may be necessary to get to our chosen destination.

My truths now are different than the truths I believed in childhood. Growing up, I believed our upstairs hallway was so long that one day I could get married in it if I wanted to. I also believed lyrics in one of Billy Idol’s songs were “running bulldozer” instead of “ride the pony,” and I didn’t realize that not everyone knew what being loyal meant.

Today, I believe that there is absolute truth. I believe now that there are things I am not meant to understand. Comfort can be found in this truth, so can anger. It isn’t the things we face, but instead, how we choose to face them. Since there are things I am not meant to understand, I don’t believe I’d like to pretend I know how to be in control. I think I’ll live by faith and find out “why” when God decides it’s time.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008


1. Chapped Lips
Scabby, swollen, bleeding lips are not becoming.

2. Having to scrape a car windshield with a cheap piece of plastic.

3. Scooping the driveway and sidewalks & then scooping your elderly neighbor’s driveway and sidewalks because you’ll feel guilty if you don’t.

4. Slush
If one little iota of a pant leg touches the slush you’re done for.
Pant leg verses Kotex – and the winner is?

5. Grey skies and bare trees.
Nothing makes you feel more alive and productive than dead leaves and a dismal skyline. All those “think good thoughts/law of attraction” preachers must live in the south.

6. Closed toe shoes.
A new pair of boots can only keep you happy for so long.

7. Leather upholstery
Is an explanation even needed here?

8. Snake scales for skin

9. Dressing in layers
Cold outside, cold in car, suddenly hot in car, freeze when leaving car, hot again at destination, rinse & repeat several more times throughout the day.

10. Wearing trash bags to keep socks dry.
Trust me – Paris won’t be calling for those sketches anytime soon.

Monday, February 4, 2008

A Big Thank You!

I was told by a reader (who loves my writings) to visit a blog at:

I admire Heather Armstrong's writings and I enjoy the ability to be entertained by her crafting of words and insights. I respect people who put themselves on the line and talk about their thoughts, life, and struggles. It doesn't matter if I always agree, sometimes agree, or never agree; judgement is reserved only for one entity.

I was reading her notes about receiving more hate mail when her family got another puppy. It made me laugh and interestingly it made me rally behind her as a fan.

How ironic things can be sometimes. Just today, I seem to be experiencing the same thing because the hits on my blog have almost doubled in less than twenty-four hours.

Note to self: Don't be nice, offend some stuffy stay-at-home mom and a surge in your blog hits will ensue plus fans will come out of the woodwork to support you. I learn something new everyday.

Thoughts To Ponder: Some people take themselves way beyond serious.

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Weekend Update - Dedicated To My First Concerned Reader

Don’t worry, you are not special and I did not choose you to receive word of my new blog. If the email was sent as an fwd. (forward), that means that someone you know thought you might be interested in reading what I have to say. If that were the case, you should seriously put more thought into your choice of friends. Just who are you associating yourself with considering you seem a little bit disturbed by the fact that I don’t pretend to be a perfect wife, parent, or Christian for that matter? You should try being real sometime, it is quite liberating. So is something called GRACE.

Thought for the day: Who said diamonds are a girl’s best friend? I vote for sarcasm.