You all know whom I’m talking about when I say Michelle Duggar right? If not, take a moment and pull yourself up out of the stinky diaper pail or away from that blasted laundry and educate yourself. Michelle is a lady who lives in Arkansas with her devoted husband Jim Bob and their SEVENTEEN BIOLOGICAL CHILDREN that she personally carried to term in her freakishly stable uterus. Michelle and Jim Bob’s kids range in age from nineteen to newborn and they live a debt free life in a 7,000 square foot home that they partially built themselves.
The Duggar family has their own reality TV show that has undergone a few name changes since it first aired, but is always called something wildly appropriate with the word Duggar in it. The show broadcasts on The Learning Channel (TLC) and chronicles what daily life is like for a family of nineteen. The most recent episode I witnessed was when TLC taped a RV trip of the family traveling across the country. At one point, it had been arranged for the Duggars to take a private airplane ride over the Grand Canyon. In the first shot you see everyone very excited and anxious for the departure from land to air and in the second part of the footage you see sixteen out of nineteen Duggars blowing chunks into wax coated paper sacks. Can television really get anymore exciting than this?
Where my feelings turn a little bit hostile towards Michelle Duggar is when I watch this lady with seventeen kids run and manage her house like nobody’s business. She has got her (insert four letter expletive here) together. Every time I finish watching this 2008 version of Little House on the Prairie, I feel completely and utterly inadequate to be raising children.
One word to describe Michelle?
That sentiment can be summed up perfectly by Katherine Heigl’s (LOVE HER!!) character in her new movie 27 Dresses. Part of the movie shows a newspaper reporter asking her if she ever needs anyone to take care of her and she replies sarcastically, “No, I’m Jesus.” After watching an episode of the Duggars you will have to agree with me that Michelle Duggar has some sort of IV hooked up and running straight from her heart into Jesus’ forehead. This plastic tubing, invisible to the general public and only for the select few apparently, must pump vast amounts of patience, perseverance, and crazy into her body on a daily basis.
In summary, if I didn’t like Michelle Duggar so much – I’d want to slap her.