TOP 10 THINGS A MOM SHOULD DO WHEN AN
ESCAPED PRISONER IS ON THE LOOSE!
Recently our community had a prisoner who escaped from the detention facility. He escaped at 3:30 pm on a Friday afternoon when elementary schools were just dismissing. What is a mom to do in this kind of situation? Well, let me tell you:
1. Excitedly get all children in vehicle and point out news and police helicopters searching area. Get on cell phone and call everyone you can think of to gossip.
2. Take down camping tent in back yard kids had been playing in over Christmas vacation. You never know if escaped convict can walk 15(ish) miles undetected to camp in backyard.
3. Email previous warden’s wife to gossip.
4. Finalize plans to see movie Juno with mommy friends. Canceling girl’s night is not an option.
5. Watch movie and share large diet coke spiked with Captain.
6. Drink more Captain with friends waiting at Chili’s. Hear story how one husband detective is down the road on duty searching for escaped prisoner.
7. Tell girlfriends picture of prisoner you saw on tv looked like Santa Claus but with gray wiry hair. Make a claim that wine is for pussies???
8. Alone, drive back roads home in middle of the night.
9. Wake up next morning and see another photo of convict on news. Realize it looks nothing like Santa with gray wiry hair. Wait for friends to call and ask just how much you had to drink the night before.
Recently our community had a prisoner who escaped from the detention facility. He escaped at 3:30 pm on a Friday afternoon when elementary schools were just dismissing. What is a mom to do in this kind of situation? Well, let me tell you:
1. Excitedly get all children in vehicle and point out news and police helicopters searching area. Get on cell phone and call everyone you can think of to gossip.
2. Take down camping tent in back yard kids had been playing in over Christmas vacation. You never know if escaped convict can walk 15(ish) miles undetected to camp in backyard.
3. Email previous warden’s wife to gossip.
4. Finalize plans to see movie Juno with mommy friends. Canceling girl’s night is not an option.
5. Watch movie and share large diet coke spiked with Captain.
6. Drink more Captain with friends waiting at Chili’s. Hear story how one husband detective is down the road on duty searching for escaped prisoner.
7. Tell girlfriends picture of prisoner you saw on tv looked like Santa Claus but with gray wiry hair. Make a claim that wine is for pussies???
8. Alone, drive back roads home in middle of the night.
9. Wake up next morning and see another photo of convict on news. Realize it looks nothing like Santa with gray wiry hair. Wait for friends to call and ask just how much you had to drink the night before.
10. Plead the 5th.
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