Thou Shalt Love Thy Neighbor

Do you ever watch the news where they have those bad neighbor reports? The ones where a news team gets involved because two neighbors are at war with each other over something like lawn ornaments or abandoned cars up on blocks. I live in a deed restricted community; a community that is supposed to have some sort of laws that protect homeowners from crap and trash accumulating in their neighbor’s yards. However, it seems that these restrictions aren’t restrictions as much as they are merely suggestions.

A few years ago we got a warning ticket for parking an RV in our driveway before going camping so I could clean it; What a bunch of old fu*#@^$ with nothing better to do than drive around and find small infractions to warn people about. A few months ago a manufactured home got moved into the area, which is a major infraction against the deed restrictions. What is going to happen…ABSOLUTLY FRIGGIN NOTHING! Figures right?

In the midst of a crappy housing market, dropping property values, and jacked up deed restriction enforcements we have yet another set of whisky tango neighbors that moved in next door. I don’t know much about them except what I’ve observed from the times I’ve spent spying on them out my patio window, my brief conversation with the mom in which I wasn’t sure which one of her two eyes was looking at me, and to tell the dad that one of his (many) animals was loose in my yard which he replied politely, “I know”. Then smiled.

In my musings on how we are going to handle this situation I am opting for an animal relocation program. Yes, this may be a little rash. I can admit that. On the other hand have you ever tried to explain to your two year old why they can’t have a king sized Snicker bar at ten o’clock at night when they are in the middle of a siren screaming, carpet pulling, body-flailing tantrum? If you have, you know where I’m coming from when I say there is just no reasoning with that kind of mental being.

I don’t know what we will do, short of bulking up the privacy fence fund or getting the hell out of dodge but I know staying off their radar is the way I’d prefer to go.